Regarding the truth of Don Quixote’s history…

Now that I have recounted most (the most exciting) of my adventures, the truth will finally be known of my history. Although there are many fake Quixotes and false authors of the Quixote, this blog is the only true story. I suggest, my friends, that you do not read or listen to other versions of my story for they are all manipulated and exaggerated by their respective authors. Even Sancho’s recounting of our history will be sure to have errors due to his horrible memory.

I know there is a man out there by the name of Miguel de Cervantes who insists he has published the only real account of Don Quixote’s history, however he is also mistaken and must be under some silly enchantment. 

Thank you all for reading my story, please feel free to send me any comments of questions!

The one and only,

Don Quixote de La Mancha

Which recounts the magical wedding of Dulcinea and Don Quixote as well as Sancho’s surprise governorship

When we arrived back in La Mancha, my dear niece and housekeeper were very happy to see that I:

1)    I will still alive

2)    Had renounced my knight-hood

3)    Brought back a beautiful princess to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

The ceremony was beautiful and people came from far and near to see me wed my sweet Dulcinea. Even Princess Micomiconia came!

After the wedding I surprised Sancho with his governorship. Let me explain. When my history was first published, some of my biggest fans were the Duke and Duchess of La Mancha. They contacted me shortly after I arrived back in La Mancha to tell me they loved my adventures so much they wanted to award Sancho with a governorship of La Mancha! Isn’t this wonderful! Not only did I get to marry my love but Sancho gets to govern La Mancha! I know he will do a wonderful job for he was surely born to be a governor! 

Regarding the real (un-enchanted) Dulcinea del Toboso

I went to Toboso with Sancho to meet Dulcinea for the first time. I was pleasantly surprised to find her in her castle, un-enchanted, just as a princess should be.  I told her of my plan to renounce knight-hood and finally marry her. She accepted my hand in marriage and we are off to La Mancha to alert my family and the townspeople our wedding is approaching!

Today I am the happiest man of La Mancha and hope the rest of my life I will be as happy as I was today.

 

Yours truly,

Don Quixote de La Mancha

Regarding the remarkable things that the great Don Quixote saw in the depths of the Cave of Montesinos

My final adventure as a knight took place in the Cave of Montesinos. Sancho lowered me into the cave by a rope. It was very dark and dingy down there so I went to a corner and feel asleep. It was when I woke up that my adventures began.

I woke up to find myself in a dark jungle. An old man approached me and told me he was Montesinos under a terrible enchantment. He said that he had to show me what my life would be like if I continued a life of knight-errantry. He then took me to four dark corners of the jungle to show me four very different scenes.

The first corner he took me to had an old dying man sitting in a bed. His face somewhat resembled what I look like but he was very weak, very old, and very alone. Montesinos told me that this would be my fate if I continued a life of knight-errantry. He said I would die old and alone in my bed in La Mancha due to the numerous injuries I had from my battles as well as depression and loneliness for the loss of Dulcinea. I asked him what happened to Dulcinea and he said I would find out soon enough.

The second corner he took me to had Sancho and his family in it. They were extremely poor and his children were starving. Montesinos told me that if I continued this life, when I died the money in my will would not be distributed as I had wished. He said that a knights’ allegiance is solely to the King and when I die all of my possessions will be inherited by the Court of the King.  This disturbed me more than the scene of my dying body. Never in my life would I wish this hardship on my loyal squire, Sancho Panza.

The third corner he took me to had my niece and housekeeper. Much like Sancho and his family, they had a horrible life full of debt. They also had not received any money from my will and were forced to make money on their own. I could not bear to see my family live so poorly.

The last corner of the jungle had the worst scene of all. This corner had a smelly ugly looking peasant girl working in a farm. Montesinos told me that this was my Dulcinea and because I had chosen to continue my knight-hood, her enchantment never went away. She lived a peasant girl her whole life, and it was my fault.

These images were too much for me to bear. Three days later, when I was pulled out of the cave, I told my squire what I had seen. I decided to renounce the life of a knight, go to Toboso to marry my love, and take her home with me to live happily in La Mancha.

 

In my heart I truly feel that I have made the right decision.

Regarding the strange adventure that befell Don Quixote and the courageous Knight of the Mirrors

The strangest thing happened to me today. I was resting in the woods with Sancho trying to catch up on some sleep when I met another knight who called himself Knight of the Wood. I could tell he was a courageous and valiant knight because he was talking about his ladylove, some woman by the name of Casildea de Vandalia. This of course is what all knights-errant do in their free time. I thought it would only be right if I had a discussion with him about knight-errantry and the order of chivalry. Sancho and his squire went away to discuss squirely things I guess while I sat down to talk to him.

In our conversation, the Knight of the Wood talked much about his lady and how she is the most beautiful princess on earth. Hah, if only he knew Dulcinea, for her beauty is not even comparable to another woman’s. Anyway, so he began telling me that his lady has sent him into the world to have all other knights proclaim her beauty. He went on to tell me that Don Quixote de La Mancha was his greatest conquest and he professed Casildea was more beautiful than Dulcinea. In his mind because Don Quixote has conquered all the knights in the world, he he has similarly done so by conquering Don Quixote.

I could not even concentrate on his words I was so infuriated! Don Quixote de La Mancha proclaim another woman more beautiful than Casildea?! Never! Ugh, it must be another stupid enchantment for I swear on my love Dulcinea, I would never utter such words!

It was only right that I challenge him to a duel, the condition of our combat being the vanquished submits to the will of the victor.

I will of course spare you the boring details of how I won this duel. However, I will tell you that this insane knight had changed his name to the Knight of the Mirrors because he wore a costume in which he was covered with mirrors. Also, he came to resemble the scholor whom told me about my published history back in La mancha. I am really getting tired of these enchantments, for I can no longer decipher the truth from madness.

 

At last he confessed that my sweet Dulcinea’s beauty triumphs all over women in Spain. 

In which recounts Don Quixote’s journey to Toboso and the enchanted Dulcinea

Dulcinea has been enchanted. These evil enchanters are taking away all that matters to me in life, and I’m really getting tired of them. I came to Toboso with Sancho to visit my sweet Dulcinea. Because she is very modest and does not like other people knowing her business, I decided it was best if Sancho go see her first and then bring her to me. I fear that something may possibly be wrong with Sancho. He seems extremely nervous and on edge.

Anyway, while Sancho was fetching my love, I waited patiently for them right outside the town. I could not stop thinking about my love and how I will finally get to see her beautiful face. I feel butterflies in my stomach. I can’t believe the day has come when I get to see Dulcinea in person! I hope she is everything I believe she is.

As I was lost in my thoughts, Sancho came running from town saying he found her and she was approaching with two of her friends. I tried to look for her but all I saw were peasant girls. Where was my Dulcinea? This surely could not be her!

Then it hit me, she too had been enchanted. Just as my the evil enchanters enchanted me and Sancho, it was now her turn. Sancho was addressing a smelly ugly looking peasant girl as Dulcinea and it came to me that this indeed was Dulcinea but I could not recognize her because of the enchantments.

They have denied me the pleasure of seeing my love this time. But next time I come to Toboso I will renounce my knighthood and maybe then I will be able to see her true beauty! 

Regarding Sancho’s wages and Don Quixote and Sancho’s final journey

Today Sancho came over to discuss the last details of our next journey. Once again, he brought up his wages and wants me to fix them to give him (more like Teresa) a sense of stability for our trip. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him that knights do not fix their squire’s wages, and it is not a respectable thing to ask for. Especially now that I’m famous, I do not need Sancho by my side, I’m sure I could find a better squire than Sancho that will be willing to serve me without fixed wages.

Now I will tell you a secret, if you promise to be quiet about it….

What I haven’t told Sancho is how much money I have given to him in my will. Knight-errantry aside, I know that a man cannot make a living without money. Therefore, I have left him more than enough money to be able to support his family and live a comfortable lifestyle. As much of an idiot that he is, I love my squire and loyal friend.

After Sancho agreed to come along, I told him my plan to visit Dulcinea in Toboso. I am so eager to see my love that we have planned on setting out tomorrow.

 

The most famous knight in all of Spain,

Don Quixote de La Mancha

Regarding Don Quixote’s questionable thoughts

After hearing of my newfound fame across the world, I have had to reevaluate my thoughts on knighthood.  Although I do think I will have a much easier life if I stay in La Mancha, I cannot let Dulcinea (and my new fans) down. I must continue on this road of knight-errantry to finish what I began. Therefore, I have made a vow to myself to not tell anyone of my questionable thoughts on chivalry. I will keep them to myself and when the time is right, I will come back to my home and family in La Mancha a new (and married!) man.

In which recounts when Don Quixote was reunited with his squire as well as the the new fame of this valiant knight

Today Sancho came to my home to see me. It feels like forever since I’ve seen my good friend and squire. I inquired about my reputation in the village because I wanted to know if I was famous yet. Sancho told me some people thought I was a madman and that someone had published a book of our previous adventures.

Finally! Some recognition and some fame. I was waiting for the day when all the people in La Mancha and Spain would know my name and that day has finally come! I’m sure the writer is a sage enchanter who followed me on my adventures and put every detail of them in this book. But, Sancho says the writer is a moor named Cide Hamete Benegali. This is quite strange because I do not know who this moor is and what his interest in the order of chivalry is. I’m not sure what to think of this, as I know for a fact that moors never tell the truth.

Sancho then brought a scholar by the name of Sanson Carrasco to me to tell me more about this moor and the book. Sanson confirms what Sancho says and adds that the book has been translated into many languages around the world. Now all of the world will know of the great Don Quixote de La Mancha!

Regarding Don Quixote’s stay in La Mancha

I am not aware how long it has been since I have returned to La Mancha. My niece and housekeeper have healed my wounds and fed me well. I have enjoyed my stay at home very much and I have found myself sometimes questioning my intentions of being a knight-errant. I feel confused and lost and I’m not sure if I should return to my life here.  What I do know is that I miss my Dulcinea. As soon as I am healthy again I vow to visit her. If only the enchanter had left me my books. Reading gives me a certain pleasure I can’t describe. I guess I will send my housekeeper out to buy more…

Until my next adventure?

Don Quixote de La Mancha